Empaths: Let’s Stop the Suffering!

I am an empath.

I was so excited when I learned that there was such a thing as being an empath,
because I felt alone, and overwhelmed, and out of control, and freakish... 
SO, I was excited to learn that I wasn't alone, and I felt validated in my experience.

But now, decades later, I am uncomfortable identifying as an empath, or as a ‘A Highly-Sensitive Person’ (HSP). 
Why is that?

Empaths can be powerful and capable.
Empaths get info about the state of the people and the vibes around them, that many miss.
Why would I feel uncomfortable about that?

These things are great!

But here is my issue:  for many of us, there is a suffering that goes along with being an Empath, that is unnecessary.

That is not great.  And I would like to see us all let that go!

Without training, it is easy for us Empaths to feel overwhelmed by sensitivity to so much of life;
dominated by emotions, heaviness, darkness, and suffering! 
I am here to tell you - there is a WAY OUT.

I have enjoyed over a dozen years of freedom from all that crap! 
This way if life is delightful and delicious, and I am so peaceful and blessed to be past that.
I am still an empath, but I am a comfortable, happy and free Empath.

We can still keep the special gifts we are blessed-with

AND find balance with them!

If that sounds good to you - please read on…

 

From my expereince, the ups and downs of most people's expereince of being an Empath were modeled very well by Counselor Deanna Troi on Star Trek, The Next Generation. 

If you are familiar, she was an Empath who received information that was often useful to herself and others.
BUT: she was sometimes overtaken by other energies/personalities, and she was sometimes overwhelmed by others emotions.

An interesting question, that I didn't consider before my own training:
Isn't it strange that an entire culture/species could have these abilities,
but not have the information/ability to protect themselves and control their Clairsentience.

A Clairsentient is someone who has a heightened ability to perceive the information in our soul about how the body feels - emotions and sensations - our own and others - it is another word for Empath.

This inability for information moderation as well as holding one's own personal boundaries, that Deanna experienced, made for a great plot device (but it does not make a great life, for us ;)

Fortunately, it turns out in REAL life, there is a lot of information and practices that assist us to manage our information receptivity and have our own experience, this just isn't known to our common culture. 

Knowledge and practices have been passed down through the millenia, from many different sources and spiritual traditions, about how to live comfortably, empowered and free. 
With practice, these tools can become as easy as turning a volume control up and down.

Practicing these tools, has revolutionized my life!

Your suffering can be OVER! 

Are You ready for that?

Being overwhelmed by emotional information and carrying other people's garbage around, doesn't make us special, it makes us SAD and dis-empowered. 
It turns out that Everyone has soul senses and abilities, its just that 

- some of us have them turned way up - consciously: too much

- some have them turned way down - consciously: not sensing anything 

- and some of us have them tuned - just about right, most of the time ;)

We can all find our volume controls - and come to balance!
Now that my dials are more comfortably and powerfully set, 

not only am I SO much less miserable - physically, emotionally, relationally, in my soul...

I am free to be of true service in the world. 

Now that I have chosen to do what it it takes to stop suffering and be free: 

I have more and more energy available to live life, abundantly; 

and to share Love, Light and Life in the world.

From my experience, when we start to realize that we can be more energetically and emotionally comfortable - it is a choice we can make. 
I teach folks how to do this all the time, and my students consistently enjoy tremendous freedom and joy... after years of their own unique brand of heartache and pain.

IF you are willing to learn, heal, and Practice change, 

you too can stop the suffering as an Empath, 

and live an amazing and abundant life.

Read more in the previous post

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Empaths: Let's Be Free!

(This post goes along with the one above - you can read here)

The experience of Soul freedom and joy are a real and actual possibility for each of us,
available whenever and wherever we choose to realize/ manifest/ co-create them.

Just like our physical senses and abilities,
We are so generously gifted with soul senses, to enjoy and to help us find our way;
as well as soul abilities to serve soul evolution, to serve others, to serve ourselves.

These Soul Senses and Abilities Empower and Equip us to 

lead Awesome lives and make the difference we are here to make

... They are NOT meant to make us suffer! 

If your soul senses and abilities are causing you distress...
It comes down to this, pretty much:

• If the radio is too loud, turn it down, and then go on with your life...

• If you don't know how to turn the radio down - find out!

• Now that you have read this, I hope you never again tell yourself:   
• I just have to live with this radio screaming in my ear, I have no choice, it is just my 'cross to bear'... because it is NOT!

• Having a radio is a beautiful gift of music and communication, education and entertainment... being able to turn it up, down, on, off, change the channel, even... that is just basic operating instructions!

Many suffer, and it really sucks.
I know this with my life.

I lived in overwhelm, depression and chronic physical illness for decades, in large part because I was too empathically open and I took on way too much disturbance and emotion from others.

BUT, from the time I started learning inner tools, over a dozen years ago, all this started to turn around. 
I am free in a way I never imagined I could be

... and you can be too!

I work with people every day in soul development,
and ONE of the many things we learn to handle, within ourselves, is managing empathic info and energy.
It is easy to learn and practice, for most people. 

Everyone I have worked with, who chooses to shift their experience and shift their life, has done so:

• With training of one evening, many can shift. 

• Others take a few weeks to a few months, because of the layers of choices and habits in their system that hold their old way of over-responsibility, victim and overwhelm in place.  

• For many of us, there are parts of our system that don't want to be free, joyful, powerful, and in the drivers seat of our lives - this must be addressed and shifted.

• There is great value in receiving soul training, rather than suffering through decades of trying to figure out the 'ropes' by oneself, or the blind leading the blind.

Together, let’s stop the tremendous suffering going on about this, 

when it is so incredibly unnecessary. 

If you are suffering, I encourage you to be UN-stoppable in your quest, until you find the tools and ability you need to shift, and begin savoring your life!  

It is a great service to ourselves, to our loved-ones, to our shared world, and to Spirit, 

when we allow ourselves to let go of heaviness and darkness, and allow ourselves to be Light and Life in our world.

Empaths: Let's Be Free!
Wendy

.(This post goes along with the one above - you can read here)

Ryan: An American Meditater in Paris

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

In Seattle I have the pleasure of being Wendy’s student. Through her teaching and my own dedication I have developed my spiritual practice to a deep and effective level.

Before meeting Wendy I held belief in the goodness of the universe and the concept of non-separateness. But, not until I acquired tools to nurture my soul’s relationship with my body in present time did I understand my spiritual empowerment.

Today I understand I am part of a Divine Whole. I feel this in my head and my heart; I know this.
Yesterday, while meditating at the Jardin du Luxembourg I noticed my third chakra (power chakra) was hesitant to open. I am in a new place, surrounded by people who don’t speak my language, people who I’ve been told will judge me because I am foreign to them. This is scary. I am staying in someone’s home who I barely know. This is unusual. I’m on a grand adventure; leaping into areas of the world as well as expressions of myself which prior to now I did not believe I could conquer.

Matching ascended master Jesus, I asked for his guidance. He said “do not be afraid to express your power, for it is the power of God.”

All my life I’ve run into trouble for “being myself,” so as a separate “me” I naturally fear confrontation with separate “others.” Jesus was telling me: “express unity.”

When I am aligned with my own truth, when I have sought and found what I see to be right for me, it is best to act on those truths. It is best to attempt to communicate with the Parisians in my terrible American accent because I am intending to speak to them from a place of light. It is best to live and act on what I think is right for me in each moment, despite what others’ truth for me may be.



The more I believe in my own light, the more this light is recognized by others- for they too have light. Whether consciously or unconsciously our light attracts and makes the world brighter.
More than speaking languages, this practice generally applies to trusting myself…

It is always easier to trust God than to trust myself;

but what I know now

is that they are the same thing.

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

Ryan: Purple is Just Another Crayon in the Box

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

Recently, in personal session with Wendy, I worked on getting spiritual authority in the space where I live.
There was dark energy in the house, of which I noticed two things:

1. When I encountered this energy (both in my waking life and in my dreams) I was able to own my own space by consciously establishing my aura.
2. I was uncomfortable or unable to establish energetic authority outside my aura.

“Aura” is the space 1-3 feet around my physical body which I have learned to work in spiritually. It is “my” space. In meditation, I focus light and vibrational work inside this space. It houses my energetic channels and my physical body. The more I meditate the more it becomes a part of me; like my hands and feet.

As I heal and grow I become energetically clean enough and aware enough to notice when things are awry within my space. I also have tools to return my space to my liking.

…as if that wasn’t cool enough….

Both in this past session and in weeks prior I have realized that (surprise) there is more growth to be had! I am now becoming aware of the energy outside my space, how it is sometimes misaligned with my own vibration, and how it is affecting me.

When I was trying to correct the dark energy in my home I got stuck. First I worried it was because the energy was menacing and thwarting my spiritual abilities, but then I realized it was an internal sticking.

Authority on a larger scale; I felt like it wasn’t my place to influence.  When I was prompted to own the space I hardly even wanted to try. I had a sense of not deserving, not right and not allowed. (wow; that’s a lot of nots). The word “authority,” to me, had a bad connotation.

My beautiful teacher did not give me her perception on the hang up, but rather assisted me to find the truth for myself. To do this Wendy suggested I call on Ascended Master Ganesha.

Ganesha runs his energy like a boulder descends a hill; power rolling strong and dense. In my practice I see the color purple as seniority energy, or in other words authority. Ganesha runs purple through his cosmic channels. His vibrations teach me how to gain seniority in my life over people, events, fears and so on.

What was happening with the aversion to authority, I asked him; our conversation went something like this:
Ryan: “Why should I access authority outside my own aura space?”
Ganesha: “Purple is just another crayon in the box.”
Stop making it such a big deal the master told me. Authority is just one of the colors needed to draw a spiritual rainbow; no more or less than the other vibrations.


Vibrations which I already feel comfortable raining down to ground or to heighten the vibration of any given space. I run other colors freely like the blues of faith and certainty, the pinks of amusement and affinity, and the golds of spiritual vitality and cleansing. So too should I run with rampant abundance the purples of authority and seniority. I’m not trying to dictate the space in a Hitler kind of way; I’m trying to assist it spiritually. The intention is good.

Ganesha meant for me to learn that exercising seniority is one component of being a conscious spirit and powerful being. That authority is spiritual.

I believe that my purpose on Earth is to fully embody my present spiritual potential. By choosing to change and grow, I contribute to the benevolent and magnificent expansion of the universe.

Today I learned that yet another physical/societal conception was blocking me from my God-ness.
In my personal evolution as spirit the time has come for me to play my part through the authorial influence of space outside myself. Making this shift is as easy and powerful as I let it be. Ganesha has already shown me the way. Now to sit back and be the change.


Meditate with Purple! Click to try an At Home Exercise: for Authority and Seniority

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

Ryan: At Home Exercise: for Authority and Seniority

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

How can you practice playing with purple crayons?
Exercise to accompany Blog: “Purple is Just Another Crayon in the Box”

1. One way to explore authority is to run purple energy, with the intention of allowing the vibration of seniority.

• Start by sitting in meditation and asking the Universe to shower you in clear purple light.
• Feel the seniority vibration feel you up. If it feels good, you can fill in your whole aura as well as your physical body.
• Once you are full, any excess purple light can fall through you and be absorbed by the Earth below.

In this process you are already healing both yourself and the space around you.

This “purple waterfall” can go beyond you, as I learned the other day.
2. The second way to run authority is to give it to the larger geographic space around you.

• Continue meditating in your chair. The way you ran light from the Universe to the Earth, in part one, can extend past your aura. Magnify the waterfall by putting the whole room in a purple waterfall.
• Now the whole street block.
• And your town.
• Your State.
• Country.

Notice how it feels to exercise your spiritual power on such massive spatial scales.

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

Ryan: Light: Science Supporting Spirit

 (written by guest blogger Ryan)

While browsing the used book store I was inevitably drawn to the “Spirituality” section. Hidden in the sub-section on “2012″ I found a book called Return of the Children of the Light by Judith Bluestone Polich.

Light has come to the forefront of my consciousness through meditation work at SoulTech. I run different colors of light to assist my body and spirit through whatever it is I’m wanting to understand or change. I have seen this light consciousness make material changes in my life; physically, relationally, and emotionally. More than anything this use of light has helped me evolve spiritually.

Presently I understand myself to be part of All that Is; no more or less than anything else in existence. In the book Polich discusses this concept through an investigation of ancient Mayan and Incan beliefs. Further she links ancient spiritual understandings with findings in modern science.

One concept is that human beings (as well as everything else) are light. Literally that we are light; like the light we study in astronomy classes, which spans the breadth of space and time. Polich explains quantum physics; bringing scientific perspective to this spiritually implicit idea. 


Light has frequency. Particles and their actions make up this frequency. Polich says “In experiment after experiment, it has been shown that when the observed function, the wave, interacts with the observing system, the person making the measurement, it changes into a new state.” Basically the intent and participation of the observer changes the frequency of the light.

Polich says, “The implications of these findings are far reaching and significant for the world of everyday activity and human interaction. They imply that by our conscious intent we bring into manifestation what we want to perceive-that we can and do shape our reality.”

Through meditation I have been shaping my life into an entirely different one. Polich describes the experience of awakening. She says “everything may be externally the same, but you are perceiving this world with a new and very clear vision, without limitation or any feelings of futility.” More or less my life is the same externally, but my sense of alrightness with myself, and everything else has made my life a new one.

New lives of light consciousness are possible for anyone, and are, I’ve found, much closer than we are conditioned to think. You are already glowing. You are already knowing. You are here.

(written by guest blogger Ryan)

This is It

A beautiful poem by Ascended Master Lau Tzu 
describes why we practice meditation and what it does for our wellbeing.

“Always We Hope”

Always we hope
someone else has the answer.
some other place will be better,
some other time it will all turn out.
This is it.
no one else has the answer.
no other place will be better,
and it has already turned out.
At the center of your being
you have the answer;
you know who you are
and you know what you want.
There is no need
to run outside
for better seeing.
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being;
for the more you leave it, the less you learn.
Search your heart
and see
the way to do
is to be.
–Lao Tzu
(translated by Witter Bynner: The Way of Life, According to Lao Tzu)

How to Receive a Spiritual Reading

Recently I was asked
“What would you tell someone who is considering getting a Spiritual Reading?”
here’s my answer:

 

1)  When getting a reading, remembering your Free Will is key.

Humans are tremendously capable and creative beings. We each have our own creative power, and the freedom to will that power into existence. There is a rumor going around that our Free Will is a gift from Spirit.

Therefore when receiving a reading I suggest:

• Avoid advice: Information is useful, but you are an adult and don’t need to be told what to do. A healing is empowering when the healer’s words resonate with a truth you already know inside, even if that knowing is very deep.
• Avoid predictions of your future: The only moment you can ever own is NOW.  The only space in which you can harness your immense creative power is HERE. You choose your route, and you can shift your direction anytime by choosing Here & Now to make a change; by choosing to heal.

Questions about the future:

I don’t mean to discourage you in your quest for your truth and your direction… just the opposite.

You can ask to look at any situation or choice that is before you, and examine the energy of that situation in the present moment. By doing this you will see which direction you are currently headed. If it doesn’t look how you’d like, then you can start to heal that path.

This supports you to make your own decisions. By opting to heal yourself and walk your own unique path, you honor the gift of your own spiritual freedom.

 

2) Getting a reading can be a wonderful gift of an outside perspective, a spiritual perspective.

It can be hard to see everything clearly from within ourselves. I can be very useful to receive information from an outside source, someone who is much more neutral, someone with a spiritual perspective...

In our society that is materially-focused we are trained (consciously and unconsciously) to doubt or ignore our own spiritual information. When receiving a reading from a spiritually-dedicated individual, you are spiritually validated.  A conversation is started with the spiritual life energy that enchants your physical form. 

 

This is the gift of a reading – you are receiving a perspective on yourself as spirit and your creations (your life, body, relationships, etc) that is outside your own usual consciousness. It can be like looking in a sacred mirror, receiving a reflection of yourself from a different angle.
This is potentially an incredible blessing!

The atmosphere of a HELPFUL READING: Optimally, your reader will give you a spiritual perspective:

• Neutral
• Amused
• Validating
• Spiritually-focused

Atmosphere of a potentially HURTFUL READING:

• Emotional
• Judgmental
• Invalidating
• Blaming
• Fear-based

If you perceive your reading to be in this unhelpful realm, I would suggest wiping your feet and walking away.  

3)  Getting a reading is like a Spaghetti fight  – what sticks to you, is yours.

In a reading, I encourage you to take what resonates with your deeper truth and leave the rest. You want to stay open minded during a reading, because opening spiritually is usually a new experience and parts of you may meet resistance or fear of this new (but truly beautiful, plentiful and safe) world.

If the reader says something that doesn’t align with your information at all, if you’re thinking “I don’t think so” then let it go.

Please don’t take the reader’s information over your own.
Meanwhile, as a rule: take what is said and let it bake, ruminate on it:

• Even things that don’t initially seem true for you may produce something fruitful upon reflection.
• If something is bugging you, I recommend letting it sit on ‘the shelf’ for a few days; then meditate on it, ask God what the gift is for you in this information.

I encourage you to let this perspective from outside yourself, hopefully a spiritual perspective, inform your life and your living.

4) But, most importantly, I urge you to continue to develop your own spiritual ‘ears’, ‘eyes’, ‘knowing’ etc.; so you can continue to deepen as the authority in your own life, the driver of your own car (life).

Blessings on your Unique Journey, Wendy

Unfolding Perfection

 

I used to be dominated by the pressure to be perfect...
to be very different, better! than I am and better! than I ever could realistically be.

In various layers of my being, consciously and not-consciously,
I used to think that I had to be perfect to be loved, to be acceptable, to deserve good things.

I have been allowing shift on this for many years now, layer after layer, thought after habit, emotional default after energetic attachment… shifting and allowing light and lightness.
It is a blessing to allow healing and change at the deep layers.

It gave me a lever to help me free myself, when my spiritual teacher told me that there is NO perfection in this world.  On the Physical, perfection is an unobtainable ideal (perfect picture), so it would serve me to let go for this Imaginary Delusion of Perfection.

At the same time, it helped me to see and expereince over and over, from a Spiritual perspective, that Everything and Everyone really is perfect: right now.  Always have been, always will be  Perfect.  Everything is ALL Right!  That is the spiritual reality which I expereince, when I tune into my mystical senses.  As Julian of Norwich said:

‘All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.’ 

 
It also helps me to notice what I think perfect is...

Is it a rigid picture of how someone or something should be, an IDEAL?
This doesn’t work for me, I never live up to my own or other’s idealized pictures of who I should be, what I should look like, and what I should do.
And nothing in this world lives up to my idealized pictures either.
This is a painful way to live, and it doesn’t work for me.

Fortunately my spiritual practice has very useful distinctions and practices around these ‘perfect pictures’ that so often drive us – so I am grateful to be in the process of letting go of them, and the mechanisms behind them, deep in my psyche.

Another way to look at perfect, which I find enlivening:

The Greek word that is often translated as perfect, can also mean:  Complete, Mature.
See full definition here.

I find this a useful way to look at ‘perfection’ – like an acorn that has now become a mighty oak (As my favorite Christian Minister, Dr Bruce Morgan, used to say ; )

Of course, I STILL won’t get to full maturity in this reality, until my life completes and I am ready to transition. But, I really like this definition of perfection: to be allowing myself be in active process of wholeness and coming to completion as MYSELF in my Unique Being and Doing in this world!

And to be clear! I do not mean coming to maturity through Striving, through Effort, though Trying to be bigger, faster, smarter, BETTER!

• I mean like a child in the sandbox, playing: and while I play: learning and growing and maturing.

• I mean like the beautiful tree BEING itself every day in every way: enjoying the land it is on, soaking up the rain, delighting in the sunlight, swaying in the breeze… then millimeter by millimeter = after years, or decades, or centuries of being – it comes to its fullness.

• I mean a maturity that comes with being myself, creating and playing in the physical reality, trusting Spirit.

I am excited about that kind of perfection!
How about you?

in Life!
Wendy

PS

I believe our path in this world 

is to bring the Perfection we already spiritually Are - our true selves: Light, Love, Truth...

fully and uniquely manifested into this reality - this world, this body, this life

Want to read more? Here are some posts on: Teleios? Coming to our Perfection

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Sympathy Hurts, Empathy Heals

The system I share to Empower Healers and help us invite Self-Care works as a unit, and is better understood as an experiential whole.  But, I am sharing some pieces, because I believe these distinctions are life-changing for many of us, and those who have 'ears to hear' can hear them, independently.

There are many Healing Distinctions.
I shared 2 in a this blog post:
- Heal Yourself First
- Heal Yourself and you Heal the World

.
Questions that I often hear, in some form, in class:
"How can you have empathy if you haven't felt pain?"

My first thought is usually:
All healers have pain, and have felt pain.  It's not like we need more practice ; )
We are humans, in the earth-game - pain is part of the deal.

My second thought is usually:
If we are wallowing IN pain, how can we help?
 - If the blind lead the blind, they both fall in a hole, Jesus said.

Do I want a doctor/caregiver/healing helper who is feeling my pain with me?
Or, do I want a healing helper who can help me step out of pain, so I can be empowered & whole.
When I am in Pain, I really don't care how my Healer (healing helper) feels about it!

For me, I have come to the place where I want to live my OWN life, learn my OWN lessons, solve my OWN challenges, grow into OWNing who I am, walk my OWN true path.

It doesn't help ME as a healer
- and it doesn't help me help THEM, the ones I mean to help -
when I let their emotionality get All Over Me!

.
So, I realized it might be useful for some folks if I share this Healing Distinction.
From my experience, where we stand, where we come-from when assisting others, really matters:
Sympathy Hurts, Empathy Heals 

I define Empathy, like Compassion, as an important part of Love.
This is one of our spiritual senses, I like to call Affinity - 4th chakra.
It is the beautiful experience of the Oneness that IS
- one with Earth, one with Universe, one with Source, one with All our Relations.

We can powerfully connect with someone from Empathy.
This is a heart centered experience...
It can be a Joy for us; and it can make a very Positive difference for folks on their healing journey.

But if I fall into Sympathy, into Pity, things get sticky. For example:
emotionally matching them,
experiencing Their distress as my Own - or conflating the two,
taking-on Their distress as My problem...

When I fall into the Sympathy Game:
I am likely Reacting instead of Acting.
I am likely becoming part of the Problem instead of part of the Solution.
I am likely multiplying the challenging emtions, rather than deescalating them.

Because Sympathy is an emotion centered expereince - 2nd chakra.
It can add a lot of Suffering to Our lives, as healers;
and it makes no Real, Lasting difference for Them - the folks we mean to help.

.
So here is a parable of what it can look-like:
If I climb into a hole filled with crap with my friend, and I get stuck there - not only does this not help my friend; Also, I have no time/energy/grace left to help anyone else.
Actually *I* become part of the problem!  *I* now need saving, along with my friend.

When I graduated Lifeguard Training around 1987, the most important thing we were taught was: don't go down with 'em.
If you can not engage them safely, then don't engage at all, because then we will be having two funerals instead of one (ain't nobody got time for that ; )

And here is the thing, only a few years later, Lifeguard Training shifted in a Very Intelligent way - the new rule became - don't engage directly, ever.   
For the general public, the mantra became: “Reach or throw, don't go.” 
For lifeguards: “Make direct rescues with equipment” - always have something for them to grab onto, something that isn't YOU! 

Is the parallel clear enough?
Do Not Go Down With Them! 
We can not help if we are drowning too.

So, to apply this:
We stay out of Sympathy with them.
We practice being Neutral and not being hooked by whatever they may be feeling.
We avoid taking-on their emotions.
We steer clear of making their problems, our problems.


Sometimes advocating for someone's wellness, acting from empathy, can look tender, sometimes it can look fierce.
When I am standing for someone’s wellness, empathy strengthens and informs me.
But, sympathy weakens me - I fall into emotionality, I get lost in the mire.
I am not free to be in compassion, and I am not empowered to fiercely fight for their freedom.


I lived for decades, energetically taking on other's pain, meaning to help.
I am an Empath, that is what Empaths naturally do - energetically feel what other’s feel.
I really suffered.
But, it helped no one,
and it almost killed me - literally.

I have repented of that path.
Now I help people every day
and I am free to live in love, joy, peace
- I am learning to Live!

I have found it is unnecessary and painful to suffer with people,
I have found that love looks like helping them to stop the suffering! not adding more!
This is my experience, what is your experience, friends?
- Wendy

Love thy neighbor as thyself

Love thy neighbor as thyself

- Jesus

Most people hear this as a Should to love others. 
It is often practiced exactly the opposite of what Jesus said - trying to ‘love’ others Before ourselves.

It is not just what is says:
Love others as I love myself
…. so I better darn-well love myself ; )

Question:
Is it possible to Love others, without loving ourselves?
Is it possible to Love ourselves, without loving others?

Hmmm...
Here is my belief / experience:

Spiritually, regarding loving self or others
(or sharing any spiritual fruit / vibration / blessing: joy, peace, forgiveness, gratefulness, whatever)
to me it is ONE experience.

Either I am IN the vibration/blessing of love, or I am not.
Either They are IN the vibration/blessing of love, or they are not.

If I am interfacing with them,
I cannot be in vibration of Love for them but not for me. And,
I cannot be in vibration of Love for me, but not for them.

.
Many of us have blocks to these spiritual blessings.
When we are blocked from spiritual blessing, we can do physical things to try to  compensate:
we try, strive, ‘fake it til we make it’

But, I believe,
if we are not spiritually IN the vibration of Love,
we cannot love ourselves or others.

If we are not spiritually IN the vibration of Love,
we can only try to do loving things, we can act nice, we can try to serve people… or ourselves.

Gosh, doing it this way is not only unReal:
it is Hard work;
with little fruit, BTW

When we allow the Blocks to Light, the blocks to Love to move, to melt.
When we allow the Blessings to Flow - spiritual experience (like joy, peace, forgiveness) in this case, Love
 Our internal experience of blessing can shift dramatically.

And amazingly,
sharing the clear, bright vibration of Love with others,
can shift as well.

IMO, this is why it is primarily important to clear, and allow the healing, transforming spiritual gift of Love for ourselves.
Love thy neighbor as thyself then takes on a whole new meaning and power.


Read more: posts about Love

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Empathy is our Natural State - let's enjoy it!

thanks for original picture from Maksym Kozlenko 

We cannot outsource empathy... compassion, love, experiencing the oneness that we truly are behind all the distraction...

and what a shame if we could outsource this, really,

what a loss to miss the delight of connection.

We learn to make empathy SO hard.

But I believe empathy is our natural state, we are One.

Unfortunately, for most of us, experiencing this Oneness in this life usually involves the expereince of pain, fear, shame...

And we are programmed by almost everything and everyone around us to shut-down - so most of us do.

Meanwhile, I believe our natural heart state is like a sweet, gentle flower
- open to the sun, swaying in the breeze, so present, so joyful, so beautiful, so delicious.

But our flower gets covered-over - often with many ouches, scars, various armorings.

It becomes hard for many of us to even see the flower - to experience that it is there - in ourselves, in others...

But the flower IS there - our natural state of Oneness... its still there, under all the crap.

So I believe from this perspective,

it may be easier to see:

WHY getting to this oneness, enjoying empathy,

can - at first - be very confronting, painful, scary, sharp, full of resistance... wearing.

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Actually BEing with another means

actually BEing present,

in the moment, with what IS

- really with ourselves and with them and with this reality.

This can be Really!! Tiring!!

- all the getting over the crap - ours and theirs and our culture's crap.

For many this is way too hard.

We do half-measures, or some just give up.

But the road of opening the heart is available to all whole want it 
- it is not easy for most of us, but the fruit is delicious.

And the good news is: 
From a healed and open heart, empathy is like falling off a log, it is our natural state.

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So, most of us have closed-up our hearts, deep within ourselves.

And we are blessed with the challenge and the fruit of opening our heart.

But some of us are blessed with even more to learn and practice. 

(yes, where we trip IS our Treasure - so let's dig ;)

Very central to this conversation - what can be seen as the other side of the coin:

some are too open; in ways that are detrimental.

Some terms used for this are being an 
Empath, being a 
Sensitive or an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)

BTW, this is not a heart-issue - our deep heart is made to open and expereince our natural connection.

But, Some of us, because of our background and choices, are too receptive in other ways - to others thoughts, feelings, experiences, will, desires...

Within, we have not learned things like:

• Dancing our own power and volition;
• Enjoying comfortable boundaries;
• Interacting-with and learning-from emotions, and then letting them go;

• Balancing within ourselves, not dragged along by our own or others feelings, instincts, drives, judgements;
• Belonging in this world, being safe and well regardless of others opinions and behaviors...

We can learn these things.

And it is important to note, there are always very compelling reasons why we have learned them yet.

So compassion around this learning is really helpful.

We can learn and shift inside, and then in our outward expereince.

But, until we learn how to live comfortably, safe and empowered in and with our body, in the presence of others,

we suffer, we are overwhelmed, we take-on other people's stuff, our lives don't work.

This really is a super-draining way to live, and often painful, debilitating - certainly ineffective.

But, this (also) is not our natural state.

Naturally, we are powerful, and we can find and live in that natural flow of power.

And we can find and learn to own our free will, again.

Naturally, we can learn to turn our internal senses up and/or down, comfortably as needed. 

Within ourselves, we can turn down the volume of others feelings, experiences, communication 

- so we can comfortably be with others, without getting bowled-over.

Naturally, we can learn to shift our intention:

although we are all, already One;

we can learn to happily play the game of I/Thou in this life of dichotomies.

In this world of 10,000 things, we can be our own selves, enjoy our own body our own life, our own challenges, our own choices - and not get lost in everyone else's journey and expereince.

We can be blessed in a relationship with all others - with a space between us - so we can see, love, and play with others - and not be a big pile of mush one finds, for example, in co-dependency.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but truly honoring another and ourselves as separate unique individuals, can support us to show-up to Be With them, in a safe and loving way.

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Here I go, on and on

because

I am passionate that

our natural comfortable empathy, connection with each other, understanding and being-with each other very deeply

really can be easy, delicious and enriching.

I believe it is our natural state.

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Archimedes said:

give me a firm spot on which to stand and a lever long enough and i will move the world.

As in sports, business, etc -

it helps to stand-in and act-from an efficacious place

and have many levers/practices to utilize

- so we can be equipped and empowered to be who we are and do what we are here to do - more easily, more gracefully.

I believe it is useful to know,

this is possible regarding empathy, as well.

If we are willing to learn and shift:

Showing up in/with empathy can be easy & fun, 

and true connection with others can actually help fill our well, not drain it.

Empathy is our Natural State - let's enjoy it!

Thanks for reading.

Blessings on your Unique Journey, Wendy

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After I wrote this, I realized it goes very nicely with a class I am offering, starting in a few weeks: Enough! Receiving & Giving... and Boundaries! with Mother Mary - online workshop

you can read more about being an Empowered Empath

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