Friday, January 26, 2018

What can happen when we Show Up, for Real?

I think of this Jetson's clip regularly!
(Video Phone Mask Fail - >
So human, and hilarious ; )

"Don't compare your insides        
to someone else's outsides."

Most of us have heard this, by now
- and its hard to know who said it first -
but this is Hard to do!

Most everyone is putting our best foot forward,
in most of our social interactions,
in media, in business, in politics, in religion, in school,
even with lovers, friends, family...

And there is a complaint about how detrimental social media is,
because we are getting fed a stream of that;
on top of all the 'success' and 'looking-good'
we have to be-with from almost all directions, almost all relationships...

We are getting a lot of mirrors for
our successes, 'looking good', good-days.
AND not a lot of mirrors for
our failures, 'looking bad', our bad-days.

How come everyone else is succeeding,
and looking-good,
and making it look easy?
And that isn't my experience...

This can leave us feeling
striving to be better, look better, do more...
and very lonely.

It is normal to want to wear the mask,
put our best face forward...

And I believe, I experience:
finding a place to BE with others
and people with whom we can share for Real
is very useful for our well-being.

Real life includes struggle.
Every day is not sunny.
Not everything is great and woo-hoo!

Can we be with ourselves in this?
Can we share with each other:
hear each other? hold each other?
When, Where, How can we safety do this?

Seeing only others' Best-face
can feel like we are the only one
who isn't living up-to the perfect-pictures
- and we are not the only one,
we are in very good company!

Sharing our challenges with others,
helps them
and it helps us.

We are not alone
in our challenges, in our failures, in our darkness...
It is the human expereince.

There is something very important about:

- being Real, dealing with and being honest about our the full-spectrum of our lives;
- honoring the challenges we are each in, have been in;
- noting how living through these things in the open, uncovers who we are, and helps us build our capacity for the next challenges.

I believe sharing these things is:

- more useful as contributions to others;
- more efficacious in building community; and
- more healing for us to share, than all the 'looking good' stuff.

ALL Real sharing is Wonderful!

And especially sharing the underside-stuff
needs more encouragement, more safety, more bravery;
AND also bears more fruit
- of connection, acceptance, transformation...

I believe it can help to notice,
we may not Only be hiding because of our ego.
We are sometimes trying to make it easier for Them.

We don't want to pour all our crap on them,
we don't want to overwhelm them with our darkness and our needs
- and I believe that is wise.

BUT, can we find a middle ground?Can we consider just BEing? just SAYing what IS?
Can we practice not having to make it smooth for others, all the time?

Can we give them a chance to be OK with us?
to really Know us?
to actually love Us?

By just BEing us,
can we give them a chance to be ok with themselves,
in a whole new way?

And, can we all get a chance to learn a new way?
By us sharing together:

- how do we handle the challenges that come up in our lives?
- how do we build strength and resilience, even while the waves just keep coming?
- how can we allow safety in ourselves and in community, even as the real boats rock?

What say you?
; ) Wendy