Monday, May 1, 2017

When to be KIND? When to be NICE? (What’s the Difference?)

I believe it may assist us on our Way,
to become more aware of the distinctions between being KIND and being NICE.
So we can make conscious choices.


I see Nice as initiated for and carried through from the body-level, with a physical focus…
It is a vaneer, putting on a mask.
It is possibly an authentic expression in part of our system, but it is not the true reality of our whole system.

Nice is doing what is expected, pleasing, polite, socially acceptable, inoffensive, accommodating people.
We do this for reasons, such as:
– we don’t want to ruffle feathers.
– we want something from someone.
– we want to be loved, accepted, fit-in…
– we want to survive, to thrive.
– we want to gain, win, succeed.
… lots of reasons we do this.

Being Nice often looks like: saying Yes, inviting IN, over-Giving, under-Receiving.
People are often nice back, often appreciative – if they are not, there may be hell to pay.

Nice can be a conscious choice or it can merely become an unconscious default in our system/ behavior.

Nice is a tool for a greater-end,
a sometimes very useful tool,
but if used unconsciously, sometimes a tool that trips us up.


I see Kind as initiated for and carried through from a more spiritual center – whether or not we are conscious of this.
Kindness is a fruit of the spirit – a blessing that we can allow in to fill us, and to overflow through us, blessing the world.
And of course, Kindness is also the beingness and actions that arise from us toward each of our relations, in alignment with our Path, and theirs.

– Sometimes kindness can look or feel pleasant, sometimes not;
– Sometimes Giving, sometimes Receiving… sometimes Both, sometimes Neither;
– Sometimes kindness can be a Yes, sometimes a No;
– Sometimes Hello, sometimes Goodbye.

Sometimes folks will appreciate our kindness and sometimes not.

But, IMO/E, the important thing is to follow the Way
 - - which narturally serves Us And Them.
And to do what naturally arises, as we are IN the Kindness of the Holy One.

Kind can be a conscious choice or it can happen around us without our really noticing – just a fruit that grows as we walk our Path in Spirit.
Kindness is a reward in itself, and has no agenda.

Kind vs Nice

Us humans are a complicated bunch.
Sometimes, we are truely kind, other times really nice, often a mix of these…
(others times naughty, not nice at all ; )

It can be hard at first to tell the difference – within ourselves and in the behaviour of others
– Is this kind or is it nice?
– Is it real or is it Memorex ; )

I believe it is useful to start to know the difference.
And to start actively choosing how we play our own game, relative to kindness and being nice.

: ) Wendy

PS – what is your experience/ perspective?

– When to be KIND? When to be NICE? What’s the difference?

– when/where/why is it hard for you to be kind? to be nice?

– when/where/why would you choose not to be kind? to be nice?

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