Saturday, April 29, 2017

Empathy is our Natural State - let's enjoy it!

I am a fan of Seth Godin.
I am blessed by his work, and today I happen to have a different take than him, on empathy.
I am sharing below an iteration of my response to his post: Empathy is the hard part    

thanks for original picture from Maksym Kozlenko 

Amen, we cannot outsource empathy... compassion, love, experiencing the oneness that we truly are behind all the distraction...
and what a shame if we could outsource this, really,
what a loss to miss the delight of connection.


I so agree, we learn to make empathy SO hard.

But I believe empathy is our natural state, we are One.

Unfortunately, for most of us, experiencing this Oneness in this life usually involves the expereince of pain, fear, shame...
And we are programmed by almost everything and everyone around us to shut-down - so most of us do.

Meanwhile, I believe our natural heart state is like a sweet, gentle flower
- open to the sun, swaying in the breeze, so present, so joyful, so beautiful, so delicious.

But our flower gets covered-over - often with many ouches, scars, various armorings.
It becomes hard for many of us to even see the flower - to experience that it is there - in ourselves, in others...

But the flower IS there - our natural state of Oneness... its still there, under all the crap.

So I believe from this perspective,
it may be easier to see:
WHY getting to this oneness, enjoying empathy,
can - at first - be very confronting, painful, scary, sharp, full of resistance... wearing.


Actually BEing with another means
actually BEing present,
in the moment, with what IS
- really with ourselves and with them and with this reality.

This can be Really!! Tiring!!
- all the getting over the crap - ours and theirs and our culture's crap.
For many this is way too hard.
We do half-measures, or some just give up.

But the road of opening the heart is available to all whole want it 
- it is not easy for most of us, but the fruit is delicious.
And the good news is: 
From a healed and open heart, empathy is like falling off a log, it is our natural state.


So, most of us have closed-up our hearts, deep within ourselves.
And we are blessed with the challenge and the fruit of opening our heart.

But some of us are blessed with even more to learn and practice. 

(yes, where we trip IS our Treasure - so let's dig ;)

Very central to this conversation - what can be seen as the other side of the coin:
some are too open; in ways that are detrimental.

Some terms used for this are being an 
Empath, being a 
Sensitive or an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)

BTW, this is not a heart-issue - our deep heart is made to open and expereince our natural connection.
But, Some of us, because of our background and choices, are too receptive in other ways - to others thoughts, feelings, experiences, will, desires...

Within, we have not learned things like:
  • Dancing our own power and volition;
  • Enjoying comfortable boundaries;
  • Interacting-with and learning-from emotions, and then letting them go;
  • Balancing within ourselves, not dragged along by our own or others feelings, instincts, drives, judgements;
  • Belonging in this world, being safe and well regardless of others opinions and behaviors...

We can learn these things.
And it is important to note, there are always very compelling reasons why we have learned them yet.
So compassion around this learning is really helpful.

We can learn and shift inside, and then in our outward expereince.
But, until we learn how to live comfortably, safe and empowered in and with our body, in the presence of others,
we suffer, we are overwhelmed, we take-on other people's stuff, our lives don't work.

This really is a super-draining way to live, and often painful, debilitating - certainly ineffective.
But, this (also) is not our natural state.

Naturally, we are powerful, and we can find and live in that natural flow of power.
And we can find and learn to own our free will, again.

Naturally, we can learn to turn our internal senses up and/or down, comfortably as needed. 
Within ourselves, we can turn down the volume of others feelings, experiences, communication 
- so we can comfortably be with others, without getting bowled-over.

Naturally, we can learn to shift our intention:
although we are all, already One;
we can learn to happily play the game of I/Thou in this life of dichotomies.

In this world of 10,000 things, we can be our own selves, enjoy our own body our own life, our own challenges, our own choices - and not get lost in everyone else's journey and expereince.

We can be blessed in a relationship with all others - with a space between us - so we can see, love, and play with others - and not be a big pile of mush one finds, for example, in co-dependency.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but truly honoring another and ourselves as separate unique individuals, can support us to show-up to Be With them, in a safe and loving way.


Here I go, on and on
I am passionate that
our natural comfortable empathy, connection with each other, understanding and being-with each other very deeply
really can be easy, delicious and enriching.

I believe it is our natural state.


Archimedes said:
give me a firm spot on which to stand and a lever long enough and i will move the world.

As in sports, business, etc -
it helps to stand-in and act-from an efficacious place
and have many levers/practices to utilize
- so we can be equipped and empowered to be who we are and do what we are here to do - more easily, more gracefully.

I believe it is useful to know,
this is possible regarding empathy, as well.

If we are willing to learn and shift:
Showing up in/with empathy can be easy & fun, 
and true connection with others can actually help fill our well, not drain it.

Empathy is our Natural State - let's enjoy it!

Thanks for reading.
Blessings on your Unique Journey, Wendy

After I wrote this, I realized it goes very nicely with a class I am offering, starting in a few weeks: Enough! Receiving & Giving... and Boundaries! with Mother Mary - online workshop

you can read more about being an Empowered Empath


Friday, April 21, 2017

Enough! Receiving & Giving... and Boundaries! with Mother Mary - online workshop

Goodbye Resistance, Hello Glory!
Our Deepest needs met, and serving the world from there.

We live in a cornucopia of Grace: we ARE and we Have Enough!
  • We can let-go of the pernicious lies that we are broken, lacking, undeserving...
  • We can let-go of the pernicious lies that we don't deserve the the profligate gifts of Heaven, the ridiculously abundant gifts of the Earth.
  • We are safe IN God - we can trust, tomorrow, we are gonna be and have Enough, so we can LIVE Now!

We can deeply serve ourselves, our world, and Spirit, by finding our own edge, and holding our Boundaries.
  • We can STOP 'putting up with', let-go of victim patterns.
  • We can say NO! (and make lots of room for bigger YESes!)
  • We can find our true soul Power, and our lost or broken Free-Will.
We can Dance with Life, what we like and what we don't like, with Freedom and Joy!
  • We can get un-Stuck, stop judging and RESISTing.
  • We can let-go of fighting - which holds what we don't like in place - and instead invite flow, change.
  • We can trust ourselves and the leading of spirit to create inner and outer structures that align with who we ARE and what we are here to DO, what only we can do!

We can comfortably and sustainably Help & Heal, Give & Share from Abundant Overflow!
  • We can live in a waterfall, in a spring, of grace and wild blessings - let's let it in.
  • We can let go, let God. We don't have to hold on so tight, try to control... We can allow what is NEXT for us!
  • We can notice the beauty and gift of an *I* / *THOU* relationship - honoring our own and their unique selves.

->  Enough!  Receiving & Giving... and Boundaries!  with Mother Mary

Online Workshop Every Friday afternoon in May, in Seattle 
(Friday evenings in New York, and Saturday mornings in Sydney)
This is not an intellectual process - this is not something to just listen-to.
I am leading your though a spiritual expereince.
We will be together in deep meditation, tuning into yourself, in spiritual communication with the God of your Heart, playing with Mother Mary...
You Can miss the live broadcast, if you Must, and meditate with the audio, on your own
but you Must be present and interactive for the first session,
OR you can enjoy a private session with me before meditating through sessions on your own,
OR have worked with me directly, in the past.

Timing is like this in Seattle, please translate for your area:

Friday, May 5, 12, 19, 26

3:30 - 4 pm - lines open, we begin to gather, check-in, some time to share a healing with one or two folks
4 - 5 pm - Meditation Workshop - please make time and space to put your full attention on this expereince.
5 - 5:30 pm - lines stay open, time to answer questions, hear your experiences...

Please contact me to Register now, this workshop begins soon.

Blessings on your Unique Path,
in Life!

I gave the talented Gretchen Williams a short description of the picture I was given for this workshop, last night, and i woke up to all these beautiful pics this morning!  She owns the rights to these pics and I am using by permission.  You can contact her here.

Monday, April 17, 2017

True Certainty and Humility as Friends

This is a short back and forth I had with a friend this past weekend:

I said:
friend said:
no you said y

I said:
no, i said x,
apparently, you heard y

friend said:
no you said y

I said:

Owning our own experience
AND honoring the experience of others
is an advanced soul skill.

In my experience,
this skill requires True Certainty and Humility.

And can lead us to deeper
wisdom, relationships, empowerment...


I define True Certainty as
trusting, believing, relying-upon our own perception, senses, experience…
This is from our everyday, physical experience; as well as our internal, soul expereince.
(In my definition, it isn’t a rational thing - it is much wider and deeper )

Our own True Certainty is much needed;
and generally in short supply in our society.

Many try to find certainty from others,
buy Their certainty instead of finding and growing our Own.
This is a journey in the wrong direction: bad fruit, IMO/E.

Other’s certainty leads us on their paths… not our own.
We look through their eyes, hear through their ears… not our own.
We follow their perceptions, go in the direction they are led, live-through their beliefs, act in their best-interests… not our own.


At the same time, we cannot push our own True Certainty onto others.
We can only encourage each other to find and stand-in our OWN Unique True Certainty.

We cannot know or share other peoples truth for them.
We cannot shove our certainty down their throats.

We can only, with humility, say our own truth, from our own perspective…
Honoring that they might experience differently.

IF what I say resonates with them, great.
IF they can hear it, and own it for themselves, in alignment with their own perspective, great.
IF they do not resonate, it is not their truth, great.

it is that simple, IMO/E.
Can we just
- let it be?
- let each other be?
- maybe learn and grow and shift into some more useful place?

Can we flexibly stand in a powerful place:
- Do we have the Active Power of our own Certainty to stand where we are, and honor where they stand?
- Do we have the Receptive Power of our Humility, to allow them to have their own journey, different from our own?


From where I stand:
as a person,
as a citizen,
as a soul/psychic healer and teacher:

- It is Vital that we each build the strength of Certainty and Humility,
so we can stand powerfully in our own truth, and speak it…
AND stand-for others to do the same.

- It is Vital that we speak in a way that leaves lots of room for the other’s experience.


When we share what we experience, from where we stand:

- Sometimes they will shift, that is great.
- Sometimes we will shift, that is great.
- Sometimes, no one will shift, that is great.

ALL of this, if we stay in this Game, is a chance for each of us:
- to practice, to build our soul muscles of Humility and Certainty,
- to stand on rock, not shifting sand,
- to each walk our own way, truth, light, life…

in my expereince,
THIS is a powerful aspect of True Certainty and Humility as friends.

What is your experience?